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2004-09-10 - 1:47 p.m. - in short im a big fat fucking liar. i lie to myself every day. im a social chameleon and i can adapt to any situation but when it comes time for me to want others to really get to know me, i cant handle it and i freak out on them and push them away by creating a problem that doesnt really exist. i convince myself that people secretly hate me or think im annoying. im way too sensitive. and impulsive. i fall in love too quickly with ideas and people. i project the things i want to find in people onto them, and 100% of the time i end up being wrong and breaking my own heart. i keep forgetting that there is a reason i dont try to make friends, or even leave my house. there is a reason im happiest when im totally alone. stupid |